Why the Return of Captain EO is a Bad Idea for Disneyland

Disney announced that Michael Jackson will return to Disneyland in the Captain EO attraction.

Twenty-three years ago, at the height of his phenomenal entertainment career, Michael Jackson joined forces with Disney to create “Captain EO,” a groundbreaking 17-minute 3D film experience.

We are excited to confirm that the classic musical spectacular that thrilled Disneyland park guests from 1986 – 1997, will return for an exclusive, limited engagement at Disneyland park beginning in February 2010!

The attraction’s return to Tomorrowland will provide new audiences the opportunity to experience the original 3D production for the very first time, as well as a nostalgic look back for longtime fans wanting to see “The King of Pop” in a rare performance created for the big-screen, just one more time.

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The return of this “attraction” is a horrible idea.

To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld (”it offends me as a comedian”) the fact that Michael Jackson was a child molester is not the primary reason why I object (but, of course, this is a very good reason to). Instead, I just think it’s a bad idea to return an attraction to the park that honestly wasn’t very good even when it was new (I’m holding judgement on the new Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln attraction for similar reasons).

Captain EO is a 17 minute film featuring 3D effects, “acting” and singing from circa-1986 Michael Jackson. The film was directed Francis Ford Coppola and produced by George Lucas. The film features Angelica Huston as an Alien-esque villain. And some really stupid muppets.  The experience is beyond simply bad. It’s absolutely terrible.

And, lest you think that I’m objecting because I hate Jacko’s music… aux contrare. In fact, back in the day I liked a lot of MJ’s music. The “Walk Off” scene in Zoolander featuring “Beat It” is still one of my favorites of all time. Unfortunately, Captain EO does not contain any classic Jackson songs. In fact, it doesn’t even feature average songs. Instead, they’re simply awful like the rest of Captain EO.

Don’t believe me? Behold…


You know I’m a big Disneyland fan. There’s really only one upside to the return of Captain EO. Maybe it’ll suck up the crowds and lessen lines for the other attractions!

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