Lip Balm Anonymous Presents the Industry of Addiction

Web of Addiction

Lip Balm on the World-Wide Web

As with any subject covered on the Internet, there is a wide variety of opinion regarding lip balm. Some of the material chronicled below takes a cautioned medical approach to lip balm usage. Sadly, others are still in lip balm industry brainwash mode. There are even some sick entrepreneurs out there who are hawking the stuff on the net!

Street Cents Online

Street Cents Online provides a wonderful overview of lip balm, giving an overview of ingredients used in various types of lip balms. Would you believe that both Blistex and Chap Stick medicated contain coal tar? The profile also indicates that lip balms dry out quickly, requiring re-application every thirty minutes! Is it any wonder we've had so many problems with lip balm addiction? This page even makes reference to "Chap Stick addicts" who doctors call "liplickers". Street Cents quotes the Consumer's Dictionary of Cosmetic Ingredients and finds that differences between brands is "largely a matter of taste and packaging." However, note that they didn't review Carmex for their article.

A Lip Balm Addict's Guide To the Internet

A Lip Balm Addict's Everywhere proves the old adage that the more things change, the more things stay the same. Similar, but less detailed, than our LBA site but covering the same topic. Except these folks revel in their addiction, and unhealthy attitude to say the least! Get help, folks!

Carmex Cult

SuperChurch's Big Rules Expounded verges on brainwash territory. This cult-like entity's first rule is "Use Lots of Carmex." Frankly, we always thought that Carmex has a little more "kick" than the other brands, and here's proof! These cultists probably rub Carmex on ritual sacrifices also! Here's the complete rule from the SuperChurch page:

Throughout our human history and prehistory, people have found that certain substances enable them to achieve a higher state of consciousness. It could be they were actually hitting a lower level of consciousness, but once you leave the normal one, who really cares? These substances have ranged from various fermented foods to oils to plants to certain fungi, each with its own merits and drawbacks. At the SuperChurch, our substance of choice is Carmex. Within the guise of a cheery lip balm is a truly mind-opening product. Rub a large amount on your lips, and then smear some inside each nostril and take a deep breath through your nose. The Benign All is around us, and it smells something like menthol.

Lipstick=Lipbalm??

The Lipstick Page provides more information on lipstick than we thought humanly possible. The page indexes over 400 lipsticks, provides information on how to purchase them, and provides information on what kind of lipsticks various models and actresses prefer. Sound familiar? That's the same technique used by Blistex and their annual World's Most Beautiful Lips. Now we're not sure if lipstick is as dangerous as lip balm is, but it does seem pretty coincidental that the sales methods are the same!

Just What the "Doctor" Ordered

The folks at Whitehall-Robins are getting into the misinformation business with their new Web site Healthfront. The name says it all: it is a front pretending to be about health. You can wade through their graphics and frames-heavy site, or you can go straight to the Chap Stick links we provide here. The first Lip Care page announces proudly that chapped lips aren't funny! We agree, and there's nothing funny about their Chapstick page, either. It provides the typical propaganda about how Chap Stick will keep your lips "looking and feeling healthy". Our problem with these pages, and the whole site in general, is that Whitehall-Robins' name is rarely seen. We think many people are going to think this is some sort of board-certified medical site. Funny how every problem has a Whitehall-Robins solution...

Viractin

Viractin is the new cold sore remedy from Schering-Plough HealthCare Products, Inc. The Viractin Web Site provides all sorts of educational information on causes and remedies for cold sores. They even offer to send you a free sample of the product if you fill out a survey or two. We've seen this "first one's free" technique before... on the streets with your corner drug dealer.

Most disturbing is the section which links to other lip-related Web sites. That is the section where Viractin celebrates all that is related to lips. There are several of the well known lip-related pages, but is Lip Balm Anonymous on the list? No way! These folks don't have the guts to let their customers know about the addictive qualities of their product. (Note: they don't link to Chap Stick or Bonne Bell either, but I guess that's understandable) We can only hope they sunk a ton of money on their Web site and that it will soon die a quick death.

Fat Lips Balm

Remember when you were a kid and some bully beat you up and gave you a fat lip? Is that a pleasant memory? It isn't for us and it shouldn't be for you (unless you are a bully). But the folks at Multex Mfg. have created a new lip balm blend called Fat Lips Balm. Their Web site provides exactly the same information provided to Lip Balm Anonymous by postal mail, along with an ability to get free samples by e-mail. Incredibily, the stuff is a noxious concoction of numerous components; their Web site also lists the over 20 active ingredients. Fat Lips Balm is available in several sizes and packages and flavors including Root Beer and Mighty Melon.

It seems silly to mention this, given that you should avoid Fat Lips Web page on general principles anyway, but we've go to say that Fat Lips is the least attractive of all the lip balm Web pages. The home page greets you with a cheesy GIF-89 animated logo, but the subsequent pages are not HTML text but actual scanned images from their paper promotional flyer. The scans themselves are not even very good. Be prepared for a long download.

Multex also claims their product is not addictive. Yeah, right!

The reason why Fat Lips is non-addictive is because of the unique ingredients it contains. I agree that normally a person using a lip balm for long periods of time can become addicted no matter what the ingredients, but Fat Lips is different! When my lips get chapped, I can simply put on some Fat Lips that day, and the next their back to normal!

We recently received this note from Fat Lips:

Sorry, do to the overwhelming amount of requests for the free Fat Lips sample, we had to make some minor changes, but not necessarily for the worse! We've now added in a couple more free gifts to keep you interested in trying our product.
To get your free sample of FAT LIPS lip & facial balm, a Free FAT LIPS sticker, and a free FAT LIPS temporary tattoo, just send $1.25 for shipping and handling

We can only hope that their "first one's free" sales method is failing, causing them to actually charge for your "free" sample. Multex is shameless in using this technique to push their product! And why would anyone need a lip balm tattoo?

Bonne Bell's Web Site

We've saved the worst for last! Bonne Bell now has a Web site propagandizing their products, including Lip Smackers, their lip gloss product. Lip Smackers are detailed in the Lip Balm Anonymous Industry of Addiction pages, and we found their Web site to be despicable on several counts. The site is obviously geared for children, yet the large graphics take forever to download via modem, the method most kids use to access the Internet. There is even a large Lip Smacker Flavor Glossary in Adobe Acrobat format. There are also pertinent links describing the "fun, fruitlicious, collectable flavors" of Lip Smackers, or the "colorful fun" of Lip Lix, their new lip color plus flavor product. There's even an advice column where kids ask for advice and solutions always involve Bonne Bell products. Someone ought to ask these folks if they know how much damage they're doing to our kids! The Bonne Bell Web site is truly a bad omen for us all.

Last updated on February 2, 2000 Return to Top