First, let’s talk about some good news. We wrote about Apple’s editorial decision to not approve a “fun” app called Pull My Finger way back in early September. Well, “our long national nightmare is over” because Pull My Finger is finally available! And with more than a dozen different sounds this surely more feature-packed than anyone had any right to expect. 

And I love their product description:

Hundreds of thousands of people viewed the demo. Thousands cried out for its availability in the app store. Petitions were formed. Candles were lit. And now, in Apple’s Infinite Graciousness, they have allowed it to be available to you!

We asked ourselves over and over, why must I always carry a phone, iPod, AND electric fart machine? Can’t something be done to converge these oft carried items?

Today, friend, innovation has struck again. Now you can have your choice of sounds with you always, waiting and ready for when the perfect moment arrives. Tap a character’s finger, and it plays a unique sound. Some people say this is no big whoopee, but we think it’s a work o fart.

I know I lit a candle…

Useless Productivity Rating:

Cost: $0.99

Learn More:

• Air-O-Matic Website - Pull My Finger
• Get Pull My Finger from iPhone App Store

Pull My Finger was exactly the kind of app for which this blog was started. But in late September a couple things happened. First, Apple made it a lot harder to see which new or updated apps were available (this functionality was pulled from the App Store). Plus, truth be told, traffic to this site really didn’t take off. Maybe it was the name, maybe it was my lack of effort to market it, or maybe there just wasn’t room in the marketplace for a website that reviews farting apps. 

It’s okay. I’ve got plenty of other projects, and I don’t regret for a minute the time spent setting up the blog, customizing the Coffee Desk theme, and so on. I’ll probably start a personal blog in 2009 that will allow me to blog about these kind of apps but without the pressure to trying and do at least one app review a day.

In any case, it’s been fun. Hope you enjoyed it.

As promised, the new version is a tie-in to the Star Wars: The Force Unleashed and features characters from that game. Back once again are the great lightsaber sound effects we all love, and the ability to change colors by choosing different characters. However, the yellow and purple lightsabers are no longer available (a bummer, I know). In addition to using the characters to choose your blade, you can also learn more about the characters with a photo and character bio. 

When the game launches, you’re forced to click through an ad for the game, which is kind of a pain. But the app is still free, so I guess that’s not so bad. A big plus for this version is the ability to add music and create your own “duel mode” as you wield your lightsaber and listen to some great Star Wars music! We should all walk around with John Williams’ music playing in the background.

We did find a bug with the music feature, as the music still plays when you turn the iPhone off. I’m sure this will be addressed in a future update. 

As it stands, Lightsaber Unleashed is still a great program and a must-have for any iPhone or iPod Touch owner. May the Force be with you!

Useless Productivity Rating:

Cost: Free

Learn More:

• Lightsaber Unleashed website
• Get Lightsaber Unleashed from the iPhone App Store

  

  

Tom Rockwell’s iPod Touch Review

This is Tom Rockwell of the comedy rap group Sudden Death. Anyway, I got a new iPod Touch yesterday and I thought I’d pass on a little review of it.

The Touch comes hermetically sealed in a child proof, tamper proof, possibly bomb proof container that took me a while to figure out how to open. After poking and prodding the thing for about 20 minutes I finally spotted the little arrow at the bottom printed on a thin clear piece of plastic I had to peal back, which opened one end of the box. Then more plastic pealing and prying and I finally got my Touch free from its container.

Inside the box there’s the Touch, obviously, unless you’ve been ripped off by the store, the headphones, a USB cable, and a little plastic thing that I couldn’t figure out what to do with. It looks like it should be a stand and it has a hole in it that’s the size of the dock opening, but it doesn’t stand up and I couldn’t figure out what to do with it. I’m going to hang it from my rear view mirror in my car until I learn what I’m supposed to be doing with it.

System requirements for the Touch specify a USB 2 connection, which for most people is not a problem. However, my Mac is now 8 years old, which as you know is 56 in dog years, and 103 in computer years. It’s a G4 dual 450, although I upgraded the processor to a dual 1.6 GHz, so it’s still chugging along just fine. It does, however, pre-date USB 2 by a couple years, so I had to go out and get a USB 2 PCI card for my computer. Unfortunately I didn’t have any open slots left and I was wondering what I was going to do until my wife reminded me that I hadn’t used my SCSI card in about 6 years, so I ripped that out, stuck in the USB card, and I was in business. I have since learned that the old USB connections do work with the Touch. It’s just slow. It took several hours for my wife to sync her music library over her USB 1 connection.

Anticipating my impending purchase the other day I went ahead and installed iTunes 8 where I learned, thanks to the new Genius feature, that comedy music continues to get no respect from anyone. I turned on the Genius feature, went through the whole set up, yes to this, agree to that, yadda yadda yadda, and it failed. I forget what the actual error message said but it was something to the effect of “I have no idea what the heck you’re listening to and I’ve given up trying to figure it out. You’re on your own.” Apparently even the Genius doesn’t want to hear anything funny unless it’s from Weird Al Yankovic, but I digress.

The screen is gorgeous. It’s bright, clear, and easy to see and interact with. Safari works great, the apps are fantastic, but this is nothing new over the old one. The only differences here are the curved metal back, the external volume controls, and the external speaker. The volume controls, uh… they work. They, uh, definitely control the volume. The speaker is surprisingly clear and sufficiently loud considering it’s hidden inside the headphone jack at the bottom of the device.

But I think the most important new feature of the new iPod Touch is one that nobody seems to have mentioned yet. That is the fun house mirror they’ve added to the back of the device. I’ve gotten hours of entertainment holding it up and looking at my reflection in the back of the Touch and moving it around seeing how gets all warped and distorted. It’s great!

Anyway, that’s about it. My one complaint is that I think they could have done a little better on the price. I know it did come down and I know these aren’t subsidized by AT&T but I think they could have dropped another 50 bucks off the price, or maybe added a camera to it. That would have been cool. And browsing through 750+ games in the App Store is a little tedious. I’ve rubbed a substantial bit of skin off my finger flipping through that category. They could really use sub-categories, and I would love to be able to sort by publisher and price.

Overall I love this thing. I’ve wasted quite a bit of time at work using it, and I can finally surf the web while I’m sitting on the toilet. Life is good.

You can catch me at SuddenDeath.org, and for all your readers in the Cincinnati area I’ll be performing at the MidPoint Music Festival on the 25th. All the info’s on my web site. Talk to you later. Bye!

Thanks to Tom for permission to reprint his hilarious and in-depth review.

iFireworks

Rusty Red Wagon’s iFireworks is the original fireworks simulation for the iPhone and certainly features some nice features. Just load the app and pick a background from around the globe and you’re ready for a spectacular display. The included cityscapes are bright and colorful and global locations include Seattle, Walt Disney World, Sydney, San Francisco, and standbys like Paris, London, and New York. A blank screen is also available and in all cases the fireworks are presented in landscape orientation. 

The fireworks appear in several colors and tapping on the screen will shoot additional fireworks in that area of the screen. It must be said, however, that tapping doesn’t seem to make much difference in where the fireworks appear.

The sound effects in iFireworks are top notch, and there’s an on/off toggle in case you’d like your fireworks in silence. 

iFireworks is a simple program and as such the $0.99 cost is fairly reasonable. 

Useless Productivity Rating:

Cost: $0.99

Learn More:

• iFireworks for iPhone / iPod Touch
• Get iFireworks from iPhone App Store

Fireworks

Matt Stroker should really be ashamed of himself. Through his software shingle of Pixio software, he has created Fireworks, which is similar to iFireworks but better in nearly every way.

After choosing from one of fifteen global locations and an interplanetary one, you can watch the fireworks that are colorfully animated in various shapes. There are settings to control the size of the fireworks as well as the number of sparks. The fireworks sound are well done, with a quieter squeal than iFireworks but a better boom. 

What sets Fireworks apart is how much more interactive it is. You can turn off the automatic show setting and tap the screen to shoot the fireworks. And unlike iFireworks this feature actually works like you’d expect. It’s a lot of fun!  In addition to choosing the location where the fireworks will explode, if you hold down your finger a color wheel will appear where you can choose the color of your fireworks. The landscapes in Fireworks are fun and about as well done as in iFireworks, but they can be displayed in either landscape or portrait modes. So, Fireworks is a much more flexible product.

I’ve got to say that Mr. Stroker is leaving money on the table, because compared to the $0.99 price of iFireworks, he should be charging at least $1.99 or $2.99. Instead, Fireworks is available for free!  Get it now, while you can.

Update: As a reader pointed out, Fireworks is now $0.99. We told ya…

Useless Productivity Rating:

Cost: Free $0.99

Learn More:

• Fireworks website
• Get Fireworks from the iPhone App Store

The concept is pretty simple. Rather than dial your iPhone using the built-in Phone app, you use Bakelite and “dial” literally your numbers. The effect comes complete with sound effects (more on that later). Unlike those old rotary phones of yore, there’s a delete button in case you misdial.

And therein lies the rub. This phone is far, far too easy to misdial. Worse, the sound effects are choppy, out of sync, and unlike any phone I’ve heard of. So, as a simulation this app falls down and because it is so easy to misdial you’ll find yourself taking minutes rather than seconds to make a simple phone call!

The app is free, and might be worth it as an educational tool for today’s youth that haven’t seen a phone without a “send” button. But that’s about all it’s worth.

Useless Productivity Rating:

Cost: free

Learn More:

• Bakelite website
• Get Bakelite from iPhone App Store

View App Review Diagram

After launching this application you are presented with a screen that has 16 very well crafted icons. Each icon, when touched plays a short sound effect.

Moop is what everyone truly needs, sound effects added to your life. Oh, the possibilities are endless!

I deliver training classes for a living. Now, from time to time, I love to add jokes into my routine. A well placed joke helps keep things fun and light. Yet as we all know, some jokes work and some do not. I was recently teaching a class and I used a joke that just did not work with that particular audience. I had Moop at the ready and used the “Cricket” sound effect. The class ate it up! One student even told me later that he thought I planned the bad joke just so I could use the sound effect! Another example: I was the Magician’s Assistant for my 8-year old son who was putting on a magic show for the family. He asked me to use the “Pixie Dust” and “Drum Roll” sound effects for some of his tricks. It really livened up the show! For the rest of the weekend our family was not only talking about the magic tricks, but how my son used the sounds. Well placed sound effects really take life to the next level.

The sound effects themselves are very well done. I do have two nits. First, I am not sure I care for the “Monkeys” sound effect. I don’t know if it is a real monkey or not, but it just seems cheesy to me compared to the rest of Moop’s sounds. I would not be sad if an update replaced it for something better, maybe a car crash, bubble bursting or the noticeably absent “Applause.” Second, in my opinion, the “Sorry (Wa-wa-wa-wa)” sound effect is not quite right. The last “wa” should be drawn out like “Wa-wa-wa-waaaaaa.”

A bonus you may not realize is that the sounds can be mixed (played simultaneously) just by touching multiple icons. This works well for the drum roll with cymbal.

There is a “hidden” 17th sound. Tap the large Moop icon at the bottom. I won’t give it away but it is a fun sound that has possibilities and a good advertisement at the same time.

At the end of the day, this is a truly enjoyable app. I honestly can’t remember the last time I has this much fun for 99 cents! If you are a product of the TV generation like me then this is a must have.

Useless Productivity Rating:

Cost: $0.99

Learn More:

• Hanson Interactive Moop website
• Get Moop from iPhone App Store

The new 2.0 version is smaller and more stable than the previous version that was prone to crashes. When you load the app, you can “test your luck” by displaying a nicely drawn fortune cookie. As you move your iPhone about the cookie will slide from edge to edge. Press on the cookie to break it open and reveal your fortune. You can send fortunes to friends via email or press a button for another fortune.

Unfortunately, the fortunes are a little strange and not particularly varied. I did, however, like the fortune about seeing a man playing a guitar and then suggesting I donate. I traveled to a street fair that very day so this was a nice piece of “karma.”

This app comes from AOL and as a free app a little advertising might be okay. However, Fortune takes this one step too far with fortunes that when tapped load your browser and into a part of the AOL website. I don’t mind that AOL has a variety of iPhone services, but this nature of promotion feels quite intrusive and awfully tacky.  

The program isn’t bad, but the advertising aspect sure is a downside.

Useless Productivity Rating:

Cost: free

Learn More:

• Fortune website
• Get Fortune from iPhone App Store

• decrease in call set-up failures and call drops
• significantly improve battery life for most users
• dramatically reduced time to backup to iTunes
• improve email reliability, notably fetching email from POP and Exchange accounts
• faster installation of 3rd party applications
• fixed bugs causing hangs and crashes if you have lots of 3rd party applications
• improved performance in text messaging
• faster loading and searching of contacts
• improved accuracy of the 3G signal strength display
• repeat alert up to two additional times for incoming text messages
• option to wipe data after ten failed passcode attempts
• Genius playlist creation

Among the features most important to our endeavors here at Useless Productivity, I have to say that app installation and backup improvements are most welcome and badly needed. And they seem to be working great for us. 

One feature not mentioned in Apple’s list is that when you update an existing application it keeps it’s home screen location, rather than being shuttled over to the first open position. This is another welcome change that will make managing updated apps much easier. 

Nice work Apple. Now, how about copy and paste already?

Learn More:

• Apple iPhone 2.1 Software Update

Check out the screenshots:

The updated app will be still be available for free.

Learn More:

• The Return of PhoneSaber (TheMacBox)